Posted by M on Jan 10, 2010 in
Completely Biased Memories |
On October 25, 2005, I was a junior at DeWitt High School. As Carly and I call it, we were finishing up the “Awkward Years” and moving into a new era, “Still Awkward, but Concerned We’ll Never Grow Out of It.” I was also still in the time of my life when I thought for sure I would grow up and write for a magazine or a newspaper or maybe a really prestigious website, like collegehumor.com (this was before I found out that in English classes, very opinionated people talk for very long amounts of time. This was when I also learned I don’t have patience). This was a little before Facebook swept the high school nations–in fact, I was the third or fourth kid at my school on facebook and I had four “friends” for at least the first few months. So, before the world of facebook and myspace –I would like to proudly state I never had one of those, thank you very much–there was a little thing called Xanga. It was kind of like an online journal, and while many people wrote about their days and their crushes and their sports teams, I used mine to sarcastically comment on my high school, my life, and my family. Some of these entries were received well, some got me a firm talking to by my father.
Nonetheless, Xanga eventually disappeared and I made my entries private because well, some are a little embarrassing. My mother already has pictures of me with “The Haircut” in third grade. I really don’t need any other ammunition to ensure that a) no one will ever marry me or b) that if someone does, these artifacts are sure to come out and scare the poor bastard away.
A few days ago, I remembered that I wrote an entry called, “21 Things to Do Before I’m 21.” I searched through my old stomping grounds of a weblog to track it down. I think out of all 21, I’ve managed about 5. But let’s review:
21 things i want to do before i turn 21:
1. get a tattoo
2. skydive
3. get into college
4. make spur of the moment vacation plans
5. get two beta (??) fish and watch them fight eachother.
6. Buy a puppy. give him a questionable name.
7. go to mexico with high school friends
8. go to las vegas
9. run a marathon
10. learn to use a stick shift
11. learn to change a flat tire
12. learn to cook
13. decide what I want to be when I grow up
14. spend a summer far away from dewitt–and everyone i know
15. go to europe without parental supervision
16. eat an entire pizza
17. graduate from high school
18. stay in bed for an entire weekend.
19. volunteer in asia
20. dye hair
21. ride in a hot air balloon.
The list, as you can tell, is a little random. I’m not sure how I made the jump from volunteer in asia to get a tattoo, but I assure you no needles from questionable parties have come near me. Don’t worry, like a homework assignment I didn’t do, I have an excuse for every one of these:
1. get a tattoo–Now this just isn’t practical. The only place that would even be an adequate place to get it (on the lower back, away from any possibility of a stretch mark) now has the connotation ”tramp stamp.” In addition, even if I were eligible for the tramp category, allowing me such a stamp, that would mean no pain meds for when I someday get knocked up (when I’m old enough and married to a wealthy old man) and am forced to expel a small parasite out of my body. Plus, I can’t even decide what color I want my yoga pants from Victoria’s Secret to be (charcoal or black? Leave your opinion in the comments). How am I humanly supposed to pick a tattoo?
2. skydive- Well, I went cliff diving twice (okay, once. The pansy ten foot jump in Jamaica probably doesn’t count). Okay, this one just didn’t happen either. What’s the score now? 0/2?
3. get into college- YES! This one I managed. Not only did I get into college, but I transferred colleges. So it’s like I got into college twice! I firmly believe this one gives me extra credit.
4. make spur of the moment vacation plans- I remember wanting to make this a point because I really wanted to be more spontaneous. I think though, it’s pretty hard to make spur of the moment vacation plans when you’re under 21 and therefore can’t really go anywhere on the spur of the moment. I’ll shift this to my next list, for when I’m older and have a sugar daddy to whisk me off to far away lands.
5. get two beta (??) fish and watch them fight eachother- The only fight I’m interested in watching is one between Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan. Preferably to the death.
6. Buy a puppy. give him a questionable name- If we break this down into two parts, it was accomplished. I did get a puppy–but his name is the nice-boy name Charlie. However, I did also get a fighting fish named “Michael Vick.” It was at the height of the Michael Vick controversy so as you can probably imagine, it was a real crowd pleaser.
7. go to mexico with high school friends-fail fail fail. I still go on springbreak with my parents. Oh well. Next year: Bahamas with my roommates. I guess I’ll be 22, but since I’m planning for it, I hereby award myself partial credit.
8. go to las vegas- Sixteen year old me did not realize that going to Vegas under the age of 21 is really not very fun. Of course, that’s not why I never went, but it is a nice excuse to help me sleep better at night.
9. run a marathon- I tried. I gave it 100%. I trained and everything. And a week before the race, I got injured due to horrible shoes, overrunning, and the undeniable fact that I run like a girl.
10. learn to use a stick shift- Do cars still have stick shifts? This is just an unnecessary goal. Maybe if I meet a nice backwoods farmer boy who has a rusty beat up truck, much like out of T-Swift song, this would be necessary. But so far, automatic’s doing the job for me.
11. learn to change a flat tire- I learned how to call my Dad if I get a flat tire and Auto-Owners if my car won’t start. Success.
12. learn to cook- I can cook a little, but my skills for baking are really becoming something worth noting. I mean, I haven’t even messed up a recipe in a month :) All kidding aside, I can make cookies, brownies, cupcakes, bars, cakes–anything with chocolate really. But as far as food with nutritional value, I can make salad, toast, chicken, and cereal. If you have plans to come stay with me ever, I suggest we order out.
13. decide what I want to be when I grow up- I looked into earning my MRS or some type of major that allowed me to simply stay home and bake chocolate chip cookies all day, but apparently that’s not a degree. MSU claims they offer a degree in almost everything, I feel like this one wouldn’t be too hard to pull off.
14. spend a summer far away from dewitt–and everyone i know- A little silly, but even at 16, I’d read a lot of Nicholas Sparks books and had discovered that a) everyone I love will someday die and leave me alone, but I’ll either bounce back or find love in an unexpected encounter and b) everyone should do something that makes them uncomfortable. For me, that was going to Europe for the summer alone. It was uncomfortable, as predicted. But I also came back in love with food, coffee, and shopping. So, we’ll call it a victory.
15. go to europe without parental supervision- Thanks, Study Abroad! You’re just knocking things off my list.
16. eat an entire pizza- At 16, I also was not as lactose intolerant as I eventually became within the last four years. So no, 16 year old me. I will not eat cheese.
17. graduate from high school- Success. My Dad gave me my diploma. It was heartwarming.
18. stay in bed for an entire weekend- Tragically, the older I get, the less lazy I get. I have stuff to do! I don’t have time to lay around! I have to hit the treadmill so I can take advantage of being 21!
19. volunteer in asia- I tutor an Asian. That counts, right?
20. dye my hair- Oh hell yes, did I do this. I took it from a nice light brown (streaked from the sun, totally not a good look with my slightly pale complexion) and make it a nice chestnut brown. You’re probably begining to think I’m a total badass and you would not be mistaken.
21. ride in a hot air balloon- Why is this even on my list? I mean, fun? Probably. Goal worthy? Definitely not. Stupid teenagers and their lists.
In case you’re keeping track (because I’m not), you’ll note that most of this list did NOT happen. Bummer. To bounce back, I thought about making a 25 things to Do Before I’m 25 list, but since this list didn’t go too well, I felt like I was setting myself up for failure.
So, what do you think, team? What things should be on your list for the coming years? E-mail me. Oh, and if you know any schools where I can get that MRS degree, feel free to send a brochure my way.
Now that you’re officially 21, we should go for drinks (real, alcoholic drinks that is)!