My Letters to the Days of the Week

Dear Monday,

I hate you. I hate you so much. You’re the meanest day of the week and you know it. I don’t even feel bad for you, even though I know everyone hates you, because you suck that bad.

Do you think it’s funny that I have to get up at 7 in the morning on your day? Do you find it entertaining that I spend all Monday working, at classes, tutoring, then have to come home and do homework all night? You’re the worst day of the week because you make me get up early. I just want to sleep. Why can’t you give that to me? I don’t ask for much. But Monday, in your selfish ways, you can’t even give me that.

I will tap dance upon your grave,

Maggie

Dear Tuesday,

I like you more than Monday, but that’s not saying much.

I like that you let me sleep in a little more, but I don’t like that you’re three days away from the weekend. Also, I’m not a huge fan of your television line up. You just don’t have much to offer me, Tuesday. You’re just kinda…blah. I guess the bottom line is there’s no spark between us. At least Monday and I have a passion of hatred towards eachother. With you, well, if we skipped Tuesday, I probably wouldn’t even notice.

Regards,

Maggie

Dear Wednesday,

As a middle child myself, I feel for you. You’re stuck between an average day (tuesday) and a happy day (thursday). You aren’t really noticed, except for during lent when those crazy catholics go crazy over your Fat day. But I do like that when I get to you, I know I’ve always made it.

Of course, that’s really no way to have a relationship. I shouldn’t spend my life trying to “get through” a relationship. I guess overall, I wish you nothing but the best. But then again, like any middle child, if you disappeared, no one would really notice. Including me.

Whatever,

Maggie

Dear Thursday,

Hi! How are you? You’re amazing, do you know that? You’re just like that long lost friend that you only see once in a while but get super excited to see whenever she comes around.

Your television line up is amazing. I get to sleep in on your day. You’re never too busy at the mall. And on lots of Thursdays, I get to go out and visit my friends. Sometimes I have to spend you in the library, but even then, I know that you’re so close to Friday. My door’s always open. Come visit whenever you like.

Love,

Maggie

Dear Friday,

You are wonderful. Sure, I have two classes on you, a full day of work, and typically some type of painful activity at night, but I look forward to you every week. I never do homework on you. I eat horrible on you. I don’t even have to work out on your day! You’re the best. You’re like Christmas eve–filled with anticipation for what the next day will bring.

Love you!

Maggie

Dearest Saturday,

How art thou? I adore thee.

You are the most wonderful day, my love. I love how you smell, I love how you appear out of nowhere and let my boring life become exciting. I love how you let me sleep whenever I want, how you make me study a little, but if I slack off a little, unlike that bastard Monday, you don’t punish me. You just tell me to make it up later.

I don’t want to take up too much of your time. I know you’re the most popular, most fabulous day and I’m sure you have millions of fan letters waiting. Just know that I cherish our remarkable bond and I cannot wait to see you soon, my love.

xoxox

Maggie

Dear Sunday,

I don’t really hate you, I just don’t like you. I feel bad for you, being so close to Monday. And I hate that I spend most of you in the library and that you come with a feeling of dread. I guess I just don’t have much to say to you.

Maggie

P.S. since you’re so close to Saturday, will you tell him I love him? And that I cannot wait for him to come as soon as he can! Thanks Sunday, you’re a true friend.